Untranslatable Feelings To Untrained Ears

Can you see now how all the love songs make sense to me?
How all my favorite albums are now in a language that I’m fluent in,
the drama of it all is the heart of the art

We all need to be dramatic to produce
The songs,
films,
pictures,
the poems you will fall in love to
And send it to your new lovers
Or your ex
Everyone but the one whose heart you broke
Because embarrassment is bigger than empathy

I’m learning how to be a better lover,
A better person
Better in queering myself into existence
But if honesty is on the table for the first time ever,
I want to send all my poems to you,
Crawl my way to your bed
Humiliate me so much that in the future the mere idea of love will make me wanna throw up

All these stupid feelings,
none of it can make you come back to me

If I had known sooner,
If somebody had told me before,
If I wasn’t blind
Or worse, if I wasn’t a coward
Would it have made it better?
Would it have given you courage too?
To say it back?
To reply?
To stay.